so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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