just tell him i said nine months
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
