i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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