we're blogging at a bar
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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