you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
