VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
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