just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize