I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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