And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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