the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She has the best kind of daddy issues
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
