Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
