Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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