He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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