so explain again why im purple
no
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Randomize