my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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