I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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