i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize