dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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