all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So much Jack, so little girl.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
