Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
