I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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