dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
