stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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