oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
