I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
