Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize