I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
this is an emotional support booty call
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
