Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
