I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
