So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
