Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
