If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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