it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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