oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
