Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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