Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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