I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
