Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
