I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
