it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I am naked and annoyed.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
