Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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