Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
