did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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