Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She is in my trunk
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
