I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
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i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
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Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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