Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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