Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
