Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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