if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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