saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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