I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
