Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
