mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
