do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
