i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she smelled like a LAN party
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
