Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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