I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
